Saturday 29 September 2012

Further grievances


An approximate week has passed and not much has changed except the godforsaken weather; Aix is still the expensive, bitchy town it always was but with added sky tears. I get an overwhelming sense of both nostalgia and deep shame when I hear rowdy Brits soiréeing round town lowering the tone of the neighbourhood with such patriotic expertise, but it’s not quite as bad as that Chinese guy I met the other day (imagine this conversation in flawless French):

Me: So what do you think of Marseille?

Obzxhjdkf: It’s a very dirty city.

Me: Oh yeah, unsurprising because of all the pollution and litter.

Obzxhjdkf: No, because of all the dirty Africans and Arabs.

Me (in another braver dimension): Fucking headcase

If I don’t see him again I’ll assume he found himself at the wrong end of a Provençal firearm, but I did my best to redirect his urban fate. Speaking of Chinese and ignorance, my classes this week have been offensively difficult and FOR SOME REASON (?!?) no one seems sympathetic to the fact that not only am I dire at both French and Chinese but also terrifically lazy. But who cares about that, what matters is that I am still embarrassingly friend-deficient (wot a scandal) so Suhan and Joe had to drop by to curb my social neediness and I ended up at a sick reggae festival accidentally eating some beautiful paella and aforementioned mystery hash rendering me a convulsing, chortling mess on the floor. A true assassin de la police. I’m gonna go now and make some ratatouille like the movie but from a tin.

Baguettes-ho

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